Hand (or fist) on heart, then cast a peace sign. Love & Peace!

I love number 2, but I believe the initiator/initiatrix should curtsy, and the recipient should bow, regardless of gender. Thank you for your awesome thoughts and consideration this strange time – weirdness reigns!

Gimme five…air five. Might be interpreted as “hallelujah” or “praise the Lord” but I’m OK with that, too.

Long Tom’s suggestion of the Lakota upraised palm is 100% cultural appropriation unless and until the Lakota, Dakota, and Sioux people and leadership freely offer this gesture to non-tribe people, it is inappropriate for us to use the gesture.

😊

How about smoke signals

Indians have been greeting each other with Namaste 🙏 for thousands of years. It’s become weirdly appropriated for just yoga in the US but it’s actually a casual yet respectful everyday greeting.

For the past few months, as a formal greeting I’ve been reviving what my peeps used to call “temena”: something between a shallow bow and a head nod, with the right hand rising to tap the air just over the heart and then the forehead (don’t touch yer face!) as you straighten back up. Very dignified…but for close friends, we’ve been turning back to back and bumping butts — all the close contact you could ask for, with any contagion blowing in opposite directions!

Love your little pandemic character with the filter mask! Please make more of him. This all cheers me so much. I fell out of the chair laughing when I opened my e-mail and your graphic of human hand shaking tentacle appeared. More, more, more, Don!

The Japanese bow was polite and easily adapted while living there many years ago. Gets my vote. On the other hand, for very close and special friends I suggest the Donald Duck In-Your-Face Rumba Butt Tail Waggle. The meaning is much more celebratory.

How about the “hi sign”, a la Spanky in The Little Rascals?

How about replacing the soggy palm or dead fish handshake with uncomfortably intense eye contact?
I mean why get rid of all the fun?

These are all great alternatives! I can see from the comments that all of these and more will become the norm with the handshake being viewed as “I’m attempting to harm you,” a generally taboo move. I really like the jazz hands comment, too. When I get to this page in the Monster Etiquette book when reading to my grandson we will have a fun discussion on what he’d like to do! Thanks Don.

I have been opposed to the shaking of hands (an ancient warrior greeting showing that you are not holding a sword) all my life. One wonders how many millions of lives have been snuffed out via this diabolical disease transmission method.
I suggest the Lakota greeting of an upraised palm held level with the shoulder and facing the person and saying “Hau, Cola!” This is accepted to mean “I greet you, friend” and has nothing to do with “how is your soft drink ?” Does one risk being accused of cultural misappropriation or insensitivity?
Alternatively, some cultures use some version of “I see you (insert name).” If, like me, you have a congenital inability to remember names, this is a non starter.
I also like the tee shirt saying “Keep Calm and Stand Back!”
Shaking hands is DEAD. So is “stay safe.” Safety is a delusion akin to belief in unicorns. There is no safe place on Earth. We can try to behave safely but being safe is impossible. Behave sensibly! Long Tom

Emoji hat, for sure.

The Japanese formal bow, with your curtsy as a permitted secondary reply in lieu of a bow, is my suggestion. Then bows and curtsies could develop their own nuances of meaning. I.E. praying hands with a bow means you favor a Buddhist tinge either/or Hollywood glamour….

Voice controlled Imoji Hat

My Mom and I have been using the salute method when I drop off her groceries.

I like the emoji hat idea, maybe with a short text ability.

Jazz hands

I’m adding all of these ideas to our Home Schooling curriculum – especially the curtsy. Awesome blog – thank you. And a belated HB to you and K.

All of these are excellent…I plan to implement them immediately 👹!

I plan on adopting several variations of the wave – after years of motorcycle riding, VW ownership, & rural small town living, I already have done that!

That was Star Trek’s Spock – not ye olde Dr. Spock of pediatrics! Too quick typing.

I’m going with Dr. Spock’s ‘Live Long & Prosper’ gesture.

Thanks for the delightful blog. I knew your blog would be divergent and would make my day. I think that the curtsy is best. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Keep the weird.

I thought bowing, as in Japan, would be a great replacement.