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Monster Etiquette Book

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We are surrounded by rude, loud, smelly, selfish creatures who don’t know how to behave. Don Moyer decided to do something about it. This book offers 50 principles to help the ill-mannered behave with civility and grace.

Each of the captions in this book is a small poem. It has been said that a good poem helps change the shape of the universe. Well these aren’t that kind of poem, but they get the job done and may make you smile.

As a public service, Don illustrated these principles to make them vivid and easy to remember. Also, it was an excuse for Don to draw strange creatures doing rude things.

Hardcover book written and illustrated by Don Moyer.

Sixty-eight black and white pages plus color end sheets and a color dust jacket. Some say this book is not appropriate for children...or prudes.
Dimensions & More Info
  • 4.1" x 5.8" (10.5 cm x 14.5 cm)
  • Designed by Don Moyer and initially launched as his 38th Kickstarter project in 2019.
  • Made in China.
Because these books are little and easy to wrap, they make superb gifts.
Share with friends and family who have a sense of humor and won't be offended by a book of etiquette.
Shipping & Returns

Shipping Information:

We offer a variety of different shipping options so you can choose what works best for your order. Cost and delivery times will be calculated at checkout. All shipping times are estimates and are not guaranteed. We offer free U.S. shipping on orders over $200 (automatically applied at checkout, we pick the shipping method).


Shipping & Return Policies:

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Who we are

Calamityware is a small, eight-person, one-dog company headquartered in Pittsburgh. We love bringing the darkly whimsical view of our founder and chief monster-maker, Don Moyer, to life. Our products are high quality, meticulously manufactured items that make wonderful gifts for you and other weird-adjacent people in your life. Our goal is to make you smile.

Customer Reviews

Based on 32 reviews
Amy S.
Great reminders for all the "boys" in my house!

I purchased this cute little book as a fun "etiquette" study for my pre-teen son. The writing and images are a perfectly fun way to passively teach acceptable social behavior, while not "lecturing". He has found it amusing, and accepts the "teachings" as logical. BUT, since the COVID virus outbreak, I've found some of the older "boys" in the house needed some firm reminders about cleanliness! Particularly, washing hands! Not wanting to become the CLUCKING MOTHER HEN...and cause more uncomfortable strife in the already stressed confines of quarantine....I made a "cute reminder" using a few photocopies...and posted it at the sink. It worked wonders, with no spoken words! (other than, "cute picture, Mom") The pre-teen said that photo reminds him of the imprtance EVERY time he uses the bathroom! (photo of my make-shift reminder included).

Nell T.
Hilarious Tips

I threw a party and this one of the prizes that could be won. Many of the guests started reading different pages out loud to the group and commenting how, yes, society does need this book because some things are inexcusable in public!

Linda B.
Not really for 5 year olds

This book is a little too mature for my 5 year old grandson. It has jokes about staring at breasts and crotches and other sexual & crude references. It would be fine for teenagers & above. The book is gift size & format, slightly bigger than a post card.

A hoot

Tiny book, like the delicious artisan cocktail at a fancy joint that makes you wonder why you paid so much for such a small drink but after you finish it the world is a brighter, happier place where tiny books like this one belong under every Christmas tree.

Chris H.
Monster Etiquette

Great little book. Very entertaining. Bought it for my daughter for Christmas. She loves it. First edition arrived damaged, but folks at Calamity Ware sent out a replacement immediately. Super company. Thanks, Guys and girls!

Rick H.
Monsters? They may be more trainable than most Americans

While the etiquette advice in Monster Etiquette may not be ground-breaking, it is definitely advice well-taken by monsters of every variety, even human ones.

Don's illustrations make the work worth every penny. I heartily recommend this small tome!

What Every Monster Should Read.

So well written that everyone could understand the importance of "make sense" common courtesies. The illustrations were so wonderful, that I couldn't wait to turn the page!

Kimberly B.
Perfect for the Littlest of Monsters

People are horribly bad mannered. Nobody wants to learn etiquette from humans. Bought this little gem of wisdom to read to my granddaughter. Illustrations are brilliant, as usual. Witty, humorous. Perfect gift size.

Eric E.
I love/ Kids love/ WE LOVE

Superb!!! Engaging & Entertaining for Kids of all ages.
Easily the best teaching material teaching material for the Education of Manners in this World.

Lisa H.

Great things come in small packages. I found the book very entertaining! I'm hoping that we don't actually need it as a textbook in the future, but if we do, OK.