FREE set of Calamityware Coasters with orders of $75 or more

FREE set of Calamityware Coasters with orders of $75 or more


Squish Monsters

Monsters on monkeys—what could be better than a bunch of these soft, squishy, gooey treats served up on your very own flying monkey Calamityware! Imagine the delight of your dinner guests when they lift the last cookie off of the plate to discover the calamity.

If you want to try making these buggers yourself, here is the recipe. When I was a kid, my mom used to make a version of this cookie that she called a Carmelita. In my adult years, I came across this version which had no nuts and were a bit more gooey (I don't know about you, but I don't like walnuts in my cookies, but if you like them, feel free to chop some up and throw them in there). They are almost like eating a candy bar, but with a delectable oatmeal/brown sugar crumb mixture that gives them a cookie taste. They are worth every calorie! And they were certainly worthy of their own unique name.

Squish Monsters

2-1/4 cups flour (separated)
2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal
1-1/2 cups brown sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 cups butter, cold (3 sticks)
2 cups chocolate chips (12 ounces)
12 oz. jar of caramel sauce

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Grease a 13x9 pan; cooking spray works fine. Using your food processor, mix 2 cups flour, all of the oatmeal, brown sugar, baking soda, and salt. Next, slice the butter into tablespoon-sized pieces, add to the food processor, and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. If you don't have a food processor, you can use a pastry blender to cut the butter into the dry ingredients, and if you don't have a pastry blender, you can use two knives to cut the butter in. Next, press half the mixture into prepared 13x9 pan, squishing it down to fill the bottom of the pan, and bake for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, combine 1/4 cup flour and caramel sauce in a small bowl and set aside.

After 15 minutes, pull pan out of oven and top with chocolate chips, sprinkling evenly over the surface. Next, drizzle the caramel sauce mixture over top of the chocolate chips. Lastly, crumble remaining topping over the pan, making sure to cover the entire surface. Bake an additional 18 to 20 minutes, or until top is a bit golden. It may jiggle and seem undone, but once it cools, it will firm up. Remove from oven and place on a cooling rack to cool completely. 

Hint for easy cutting: After greasing the pan, and before squishing in the first layer of crumb mixture, cut a piece of parchment paper to fit inside the pan large enough to hang over the two long sides of the pan to make a sort of sling. Continue with instructions for pressing bottom mixture into pan. After the cookies have cooled to room temperature at the end of second baking cycle, put in refrigerator to chill. Wait at least four hours, or until the next day. Take the pan out of the refrigerator, and jiggle the parchment paper to release the cookie bar and gently lift it out of the pan onto a cutting board. From here, you can cut the cookies more easily than if they were in the pan. I like to cut them into six long columns by seven short rows, giving you 42 cookies.

These cookies are best served at room temperature, or heated up in the microwave for a mere 10 seconds. They're also delicious served with ice cream!

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