PANOPTIHOME. Is this a product? It should be.
An all-seeing eye to record events at home—making it practical to view and listen to instant replays. Let me share three ways this would lead to domestic bliss and promote better behavior by everyone who lives in your house.
Did you see that? Outstanding performance of any kind could be revisited and shared with anyone who missed the event. When you wash the dishes with unusual skill and grace or toss something into the trash from all the way across the room, your accomplishment will no longer be lost to history. Now, thanks to the advanced technology of PANOPTIHOME, your domestic achievements can be seen and enjoyed by your roommates and by future generations.
You said... End the wasteful arguments with your spouse about what you did and did not say. Let's look at the PANOPTIHOME recording. An instant playback function is just what you need to prove your infallibility. It will show (a) what you really said, (b) that you were utterly clear, and (C) that you are always right. Once again, the mistake was theirs.
Solve deep mysteries. Who took the last slice of pizza? No longer a mystery. Let's ask PANOPTIHOME. Your roommates’ pathetic denials and smooth deceptions are instantly revealed to be the pathetic fabrications you suspected. Justice is done and harmony is restored thanks to instant replay.
If PANOPTIHOME doesn’t exist yet, I hope it is invented soon. Any product that can celebrate my accomplishments, reveal my infallibility, and prevent pizza abuse has my full support.
Pittsburgh, January 26, 2019
February 13, 2019
WAIT! DON, I SAW AN ADD FOR THIS PRODUCT!
Oh. No, sorry. It was a nanny cam.
I wonder if I can put a windy face right here: 😉
Wow, calamityware.com truly is a magical place…
Hope you and yours, and your dear friends are all well and warm and enjoying the wonders of winter…