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Prevent Shark Attacks

Many people ask me, “Don, how can I enjoy summer knowing I might be eaten by sharks?”

I follow three guiding principles and so far no shark has eaten me, so they must be working. I hope they work for you.

wriggle

1. Don’t wriggle.

 

Food

2. Try not to look like food.

 water

3. Stay away from water.

Simple, right? Check the facts. Almost all shark attacks involve provocatively wriggling victims enticing hungry sharks to approach them in the waves. Sit still in the bar and you shouldn’t be troubled.

Let me know if these guidelines work for you.

Don
Pittsburgh, June 25, 2019

13 Responses

Mary

September 02, 2019

Fun stuff. A little expensive for me,though. Love your work.😊

Anne katrine Gøtzsche Gelting

August 09, 2019

We have avoided whale and herring infestations here in Copenhagen in our bath, due to the monster shower curtain. So it works in north Europe as Well and with other species.

Elene

June 30, 2019

Careful of those Monongahela freshwater sharks.

R Hugs

June 29, 2019

Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh? whr imported Rolling rock grows and Mario is still king- know about ocean/sharks/swimmingbeyondyourknees? HA

Kipi

June 29, 2019

If I’m going to look like food…a Hostess cupcake is the way to go. Always wiggle when I eat one but drink of choice to accompany would be milk, so guess I’m safe from shark attacks.

Helen

June 29, 2019

As an Australian, I can speak with considerable authority about shark attacks. I can confirm the Sea Monster shower curtain has prevented 100% of shark attacks in my shower – even when I am near water, wriggling about and possibly looking like food.

Lynne Janbergs

June 28, 2019

Several years ago I made curtains for my overly large (that is, hard to buy ready-made curtains/drapes for) living room windows out of Don’s sea monster shower curtains. All the water is confined to the curtains. We have not had a single shark attack in that room since, so obviously tip #3 works!

Betsy Clark

June 28, 2019

I can attest to the protective power of the shower curtain. It’s been hanging for several years now, and so far the sharks have stayed right where they’re supposed to. They’re actually quite friendly fellows once you get to know them.

Betsy Clark

June 28, 2019

I can attest to the protective power of the shower curtain. It’s been hanging for several years now, and so far the sharks have stayed right where they’re supposed to. They’re actually quite friendly fellows once you get to know them.

Susan

June 28, 2019

Wonderful advice. That bit about avoiding water? It rings true.

We’re enjoying your sea monster shower curtain and so far, no sharks in the tub, so I’m guessing it has protective powers.

Pat Hobson

June 28, 2019

Don,
Do NOT reveal your location to Virginia!
She might be a hungry shark stranded in Pittsburgh waters.

Janna Silverstein

June 28, 2019

Cute shark. Will it be featured on some upcoming treat? Hmmmm?

Virginia

June 28, 2019

Where are you in Pittsburgh?

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