Before I put on my shoes, I check for scorpions. You should too.
My technique is to hold each shoe with the toe pointing up and to thump the heal firmly on the ground a few times to dislodge any scorpions that have concealed themselves inside my footwear. I urge you to employ my method.
The danger is real
Many people scoff at this precaution. Some think scorpions pose no danger. But the fact is that scorpions are predatory arachnids with venomous stingers. Just look at any scorpion and you can see that it has a bad attitude. Scientists point out that 25 species are deadly to humans. Why take a chance?
More likely than you think
Other people see the threat but speculate that the probability of a scorpion attack is low. They point out that scorpions aren’t native to Pittsburgh, where I live. Sure, but what about the scorpions that escape from the zoo or those that are nurtured by the crazy neighbors? Scorpions could also ride into your house on the bananas you bought at the market. And let’s not forget sinister assassination plots of nefarious enemies, right?
Give your shoe a whack to prevent attack
Use the heel-thumping technique before you boot up. I have employed this protocol for nearly 30 years. How do I know it works? Because in that time I haven’t been stung once. So it must work.
PS: This technique also thwarts spiders.
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CALAMITY TEAM.