Because this has been a year of worrisome pathogens, I have accelerated my efforts to combat COVID-19. Since mid-March, I have seen significant positive results from three treatment modalities. Margarita mix, pizza, and jalapeños have kept me virus free.
In the interest of science, my research will continue. As cold weather sets in, I intend to make a study of the medicinal effects of the traditional rum toddy.
If you are conducting similar experiments at your house, I urge you to be on the lookout for unpleasant side effects. My concerns may be ridiculous. You decide.
Look in the mirror. Problems might be staring you in the face. But don’t automatically blame your “vaccine.” Perhaps spending so much time at home has simply encouraged you to neglect grooming tasks.
Don’t forget to peek under your mask at least once a week. Make sure your nose hasn’t doubled or tripled in size. Full-time mask-wearing might be required, just to cover up that schnozzola.
Am I the only one who worries about giant bat ears? Now that I’ve alerted you, you can worry about giant bat ears too.
All of the above. A mess that no mask will cover.
I think vaccines are great. As soon as an approved recipe is available, I’ll get in line for it. Until then, all I can do is self medicate. So far, side effects have been minimal.
Stay healthy. Stay safe.
Don—Pittsburgh, November 12, 2020
December 21, 2020
Check out the cover of the 12/14 New Yorker magazine. Reminds me of you all!