Can you imagine the chili they serve in heaven? Well this is like that chili, but with a few shortcuts to make it easier to prepare.
Shortcut 1 is this. Use a slow cooker. That way you can nap or work on your symphony while this concoction cooks.
Shortcut 2 is imprecise measuring. This is chili, not rocket surgery. So, there’s no need for excruciatingly precise measuring. Don’t worry about getting your measuring cups and measuring spoons dirty. Just leave all that gear in the drawer. We’re going to be imprecise and it will be okay.
Ingredients
2 pounds beef (If you are feeling extra carnivorous, you can go up to 3 pounds without danger.)
2 or 3 plump green peppers chopped into nickel-sized pieces (I like a pepper-heavy mix, so I might go as high as 4 peppers.)
1 big onion chopped
15 ounce can of crushed tomatoes. More won’t hurt.
1 or 2 cans of beans drained (kidney or pinto are good. Even black beans could work if that’s all you can capture. More detail about beans below.)
8 ounce can of tomato sauce. More won’t hurt. (Save the can to use as a measuring cup later.)
2 packs of Carroll Shelby’s Texas Chili mix
Loads of sour cream
Small mountain of shedded cheddar or Mexican cheese blend. More won’t hurt.
Shortcut 3 is the ground beef. This recipe is even better with small chunks of beef (about the size of a dime.) But really, who’s got time for all that knife work? Just buy beef the butcher has already ground and use the time saved to play with your pet(s).
Sauté the beef in a big pan until some of the edges start to brown. If there is a lot of fat, spoon that off. Dump the beef into the slow cooker bowl. Now sauté the pepper chunks in the greasy pan until they are a little soft. Dump the peppers in the slow cooker bowl. Next, sauté the onions a few minutes until they soften and get a little golden. Now the house will smell like your are cooking. But, in fact, you are almost done.
Shortcut 4 is the Chili Mix. The box will include a big packet of chili powder already mixed with cumin, garlic, oregano, onion, paprika, and a little salt. I recommend using two packs. You can get by with just one box, but I have never regretted using two.
There’s also a separate pack of cayenne powder. If you are feeding timid guests, you can just use half. If you like things blazing, use it all. A bag of corn masa flour is also included. Don’t lose it. You’ll add that in as a thickener when the cooking is almost done.
The picture above shows what the spice blend from 2 boxes looks like. You could blend your own, but this recipe is about shortcuts. And this is a brilliant shortcut. Try it.
Dump the beans, tomatoes glop and spice into the slow cooker bowl and stir it all up. Add 2 cans of water using that 8-ounce can from the tomato sauce (see above).
Some poor souls are bean intolerant. This recipe will work without beans. But you’ll be missing out on one of life’s little joys.
The photo above shows the ingredients in the slow cooker before cooking begins. At this point, the blend is a little thin. Later, you’ll thicken it with the masa flour.
Set the slow-cooker timer to 2 or 3 hours (more won’t hurt) and put the lid in place. Go do something else with the time you are saving.
When the time is up. Mix up the masa corn flour into a thick gloop in a bowl and stir out all the lumps. Then stir the gloop into the contents of the pot. If you are desperate to eat, you can go ahead now, but you can also let the whole creation go for another half hour or so on low temperature to let all the flavors mingle promiscuously.
Masa flour mixed with water (above) to allow it to blend smoothly with the chili and avoid irksome lumps.
Shortcut 5 is to set some of the result aside so you have a no-effort meal next week. I usually freeze a container or two and reheat it in a sauce pan. It’s great a few weeks later.
But you can also serve this chili immediately. At our house we really like it in a bowl with some cooked white rice. Some people pile it on pasta. That works, too. Or you can have it straight. You can also slosh some left-over chili on corn chips for a first-class snack.
Straight chili (above) is superb, but the cheese and sour cream toppings push it to a higher level.
I really recommend heaping some grated cheese on top and a huge dollop of sour cream. A cold bottle of Modelo Negra beer and you are getting dangerously close to heaven.
Don
A. Monsterfan
March 04, 2026
Hey—this resembles my chili recipe except for the Texas chili powder and a secret ingredient for a “spicy aroma”—a touch of cloves. There not a secret anymore, but I can be a thoughtful creepy critter critique.