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A pearl-clutching story

A guest blog from Prin describing her journey to Calamityware.

I'd like to tell you a quick story.

Once upon a time there was a young(ish) woman who, much to her mother's dismay, did not care a lick for things such as fine china or dinnerware. After being relentlessly chastised for her lack of fine plates "how will you entertain?!" The young(ish) woman, relented and filled her heirloom (it was bought off Craigslist, but by my math, that counts) china cabinet with the finest tableware she owed.

china cabinet

She proudly presented her collection to both her mother and boyfriend's mother, to a cacophony of happy, senior sighs, and contented sounds, knowing they had finally beaten the young(ish) woman into proper, waspy, domestic submission. 

As the moms drew closer to inspect the fine china the wayward young woman had finally bought, the contented sounds were instantly replaced by shrieks and cursing. The “china,” turned out to be the finest, Dixie paperware Walmart had to offer. The moms were dismayed and pearl clutching ensued.

And the young(ish) woman laughed, and laughed, and laughed. And the moms, fearing what the young(ish) woman might do next, stopped pressuring for china.

Then, one day, the young(ish) woman found the most perfect, most beautiful, most wonderful plates ever—Calamityware. Designs to make the young(ish) woman smile AND fine porcelain to win her mother’s approval. (It only took 31 years.)

And they all lived happily ever after.


Prin (as told to Don Moyer)

1 Response

Sandy Bratzel

March 09, 2017

I inherited my mother’s lovely china cabinet and all of her fine china tea cups (from HER mother) and other lovely pieces of porcelain.
I am also a china painter, so I have several of my own porcelain plates on display as well.
I will happily add the Calamityware plates and bowls to my collection.
I can hardly wait to show off my new heirlooms!

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