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RULES

Why people like Sasquatch

Sasquatch is almost everyone’s favorite cryptozoological marvel. That’s because he possesses qualities other elusive creatures cannot match. Let’s look at three of them.

1. All natural. Sasquatch is the original nature boy. He lives in the wild and eats nuts and berries (mostly). He has resisted the attractions of urban living. You never see him in restaurants. Fashion holds no appeal for Sasquatch. Not even the practical utility of t-shirts have seduced the hairy beast. His commitment to natural living is an example and an inspiration to all of us who feel that nature has been pushed too far from the center of our lives.

2.Charismatic. Naturally, most cryptozoological entities are a little introverted and shy. But Sasquatch has an approachable charm that creatures with horns, claws, tentacles, armor, and leathery bat wings cannot easily match. When asked which cryptozoological marvel people would prefer to have as roommates, people consistently reject blood-sucking carnivores and creatures with venom or saber teeth. 

 

Experts understand that bar charts add a sheen of science to subjective opinions.

 

3. Humanoid. Sasquatch looks like the human beings you grew up with. He looks like people you know. There was probably someone sitting in the back row of your English class who reminded you of Sasquatch. He stands upright and walks with a bipedal gait not the awkward waddling of a bear or the graceless sway of a gorilla. You glimpse people at the mall who walk like Sasquatch. 

Despite all the problems people cause, we all still tend to like what we’re familiar with.

Conclusion: A dinner plate with Sasquatch on it could easily become your favorite. I know where you can find one.

Don

6 Responses

Mariah Wolffe

July 17, 2023

My Haiku on the Beast:

See the BigFoot there
Hirsute and cumbersome like
Sasquash you are cool

Ann Politzer

July 10, 2023

Sasquatch drop-kicking Jackalope t-shirt, PLEASE??!!

Czecka

March 30, 2023

I love your work and can’t wait for your next idea :)

M. Gardner

March 14, 2023

I once read a great short story, “Abominable,” by L. Cordwainer Smith, in which the intrepid mountain climber encounters the Yeti, surely a first cousin of Sasquatch. He is engulfed in an unbreakable hug by the being, and loudly bemoans his apparent fate. Then the Yeti says something like, "But don’t worry, for I am a SnowWOMAN. So, I think we look to the abominable snowman and creatures like him/her for our ties to the unexplained and the unexpected.

Jim McAfee

March 13, 2023

This is a difficult subject to quantify…all of these creatures have their appeal, and a very good case is made here for (one of) our favorite plates?
I find, during times of startled bewilderment, that words with “S’s” in them are comfortably facile to the terrified tongue.
With that criteria; Sasquatch, Nessie, Snallygaster, and, to some extent; Jersey Devil all have their merits when it comes to alerting your companions?
It is another rainy day and, sequestered inside, I have spend some long moments in pensive research, both mental & verbal, on this subject (Warning one’s loved ones is an important facet of any home defense preparation):
The phrase: “Look! There’s a _________!!” Or, simply combining frantic pointing and the shouting of the creature’s name: “__________!!!” Both of these distinct exercises have yielded data that will take many dutiful hours to analyze?
However: I must abandon this pursuit and attend to the two dogs that have been staring at me for quite a while…
Thank you.

Mary Ethel Theresa McBride

March 13, 2023

Being a gorgon, I am quite familiar with Sassy! We’ve partied in the same forest and walked home laughing and reliving great moments like when the herd of elk shook so hard, they all lost their antlers at the same time! I made some lovely chandeliers from that haul! Sassy has been seen around Florida in the past few weeks but I’m not sure if it’s because of all the strange people moving here or because he loves a half sunk moldy house by the beach. Next time we party, I’ll let you know ahead of time. You might want to do some sketches to work into your art!

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